Things to Never Say to a Girl on a First Date
Yes, dates have an unofficial code you need to follow if you want to succeed in relationships. “But all people are different!”, you reckon, and I’ll agree with that. However, there are some things nobody wants to hear on a first date. Talking about your ex-girlfriend? Complaining about a work position? We all have a traumatic experience and sometimes get dissatisfied. But projecting it from the start onto a new person is not a good look.
Today we will talk about things that are considered a no-no during a first date. Watch out before they slip out of your tongue!
Why are some phrases considered social suicide?
“Do I need to shut up?”
Things you do not want to say to a girl on a first date
Why are some phrases considered social suicide?
See, we all are different people. Even if you say something with a smile, an emphatic person might give you one, but a woman in a bad mood or with negative experience on this matter will never want to see her again. Things that are forbidden to say on a first date can be triggering, morally wrong, ignorant, negative, overly sarcastic, and just straight away stupid.
“Do I need to shut up?”
Not necessarily. You might get the wrong idea that saying something risky is automatically wrong. If you have a good taste and a sharp mind, you’ll get away with it. It doesn’t mean who needs to be silent and wait for her to ask you something comfortable. Just avoid the next categories of topics.
Things you do not want to say to a girl on a first date:
1. “My ex was crazy!”
We get it. You had a tough breakup. She might be crazy and some more, but do you know who she thinks is crazy? You! Usually, guys who talk crap behind their ex’s back automatically acquire a bad look. And none of the girls want to hear about your relationships. Why? Because they know that when they do you wrong, you are going to talk about them with the same attitude. If she asks you why your previous relationship ended, tell her politely that you were completely different people and things didn’t work out. Say nothing more. Even if you still have feelings for her, don’t express your anger and despair. Nobody likes to be third wheeling and competing with a person from the past.
2. “I still have feelings for my ex.”
It’s the opposite situation where your ex might’ve broken up with you and you still love her. It’s sweet that you had such a deep connection. On a personal level, an understanding woman will give you some time to think and recover, because we’ve all been there. But when you talk about your ex favorably, a poor girl will feel like she’s your friend whom you just want to pour your heart. It’s uncomfortable and sad to see a person you like still carrying that baggage of sorrow. She will know for sure you still are thinking about your ex-girlfriend and most likely feel disgusted by it.
3. “I am a women pleaser!”
Translates to: I am a womanizer. Even if you want to play Gigolo, she won’t like it one hundred percent. When you say things like that, bragging about the number of girls you’ve dated, one thing she is going to notice is how easy you are, not how good you are with women. If you are on a real date or even just on a brides dating site, never say stuff like that to a girl when you have serious intentions. Let your actions speak for you.
4. “I’m short on cash. Can you cover me up?/The taxi’s on you!”
Another female’s nightmare is cheap men. To be specific, not even cheap men, but those who are squeamish and oddly specific about money. When the first thing she hears is how you are about equality and how you are broke, that is an automatic turnoff. And money is not the matter here. We are talking about tactfulness or lack thereof. It’s okay to not always be financially secure, crises happen with everyone. But mentioning things like that, being loud about your position with money will give her an idea you are simply frightened to pay an extra penny for her.
5. “Can we finish sooner? My friend just called up.”
Unless you have a valid reason to finish with the date earlier, it’s not cool to abandon the person you most likely invited to dinner. First, it shows that you don’t care about her or her time. Second, she’ll understand that she’s neither your first, nor second priority and soon it’s going to be a norm for you to flee.
6. “I want children/ I am against children.”
Children are a sensitive topic, which is not meant to be discussed on a first date. It’s not that serious yet, so talking about how much you don’t want children will make her feel like you have an unhealthy obsession with that matter, or that you are scared of commitment overall. In the opposite situation, talking about having children can turn some women off because it’s a serious decision which is discussed later on, when you have the commitment, and you’re being desperate. The only situation when you NEED to talk about children is if you already have one. That you shouldn’t keep a secret.
7. “I hate Christians/Religion is stupid”
You never know what type of person is sitting in front of you. What if she is a faithful person and you are insulting her religion right now? It’s not cool and it’s not in your power to tell people what they should and shouldn’t follow. At most, it is ignorant and petty childish behavior.
8. “I am a conservative/ Liberals are stupid/Why did you vote for X?”
Another sensitive matter you do not want to touch upon is politics. Yes, many families based on their common attitude towards a certain ideology. Again, you never know a person who’s sitting right in front of you. If you don’t want to turn a pleasant evening into an uncomfortable heated debate, don’t go there.
9. “I hate my job”
Everyone has struggled with their job. But when you say stuff like that, you seem weak and lazy. If you hate your work position, why don’t you change it? Why aren’t you controlling the directions in your life? Why are you projecting negative thoughts on your date, making them feel sorry for you when it’s not their problem? She will act understanding but don’t expect her to be happy about you complaining about things from the start.
10.“Do you want to come over?”
For this one, you’ll need to test waters first. Sometimes, when both of you are in the right mood, this offer might be acceptable. But when she came here just to get to know you, feeling all positive and friendly, and suddenly you hit her up with that request, many girls might be turned off, and they have every right to be like that. Especially if she’s in the middle of her story and you get closer, making weird moves. It seems like you don’t even listen and only concentrate on one thing, which is low and barbarian in a bad way.
11.“I had a tough childhood/My god died when I was 5/I am so lonely”
Sad stories are a go-to for some men when they want to get affection quickly. We all are human, so negative emotions come naturally. But if you chose to share that in the middle of a dinner date, she might feel confused. Of course a girl will comfort you, pat you on the back and even share her childhood story. But that way you decrease the possibility of her liking you, turning her admiration for you into pity from the start. It’s not the best tactic because your trajectory will resemble a “parent-child” dynamic, rather than a conversation of two adult people.
12.“This dress doesn’t suit you/ Your mascara is all smudged/ Why do you wear so much makeup?”
It sounds incredible, but men who criticize their women exist in real life. Not only is this extremely manipulative and toxic, being condescending and judgmental to a girl from the start puts you in a position of a dictator, or just a douchebag with zero tolerance. She has every right to slap you across the face and leave the date.
13.“My mother doesn’t want me to date girls like you”
Talking too much about parents overall makes a man sound like a man-child. Especially if you hint that she is going to have lots of trouble with your parents and they already don’t like her.
14.“Your friend sounds like an airhead/Have you ever thought of changing a profession?”
Control issues: 101. Every woman hates when she is told who her friends should be, what her job should look like, what she needs to do with her life etc. If you impose the role of a dictator on a first date, “recommending” her how to leave, a normal woman would leave such a date ASAP.
There are many things you shouldn’t discuss on a first date, but all of them are regulated by common sense. By applying logic and being respectful, you decrease the chance of messing up and increase the chance of seeing her again.